Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize