I just made out with a guy for $7.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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