so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
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How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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