is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize