i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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