I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize