He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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