What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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