evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
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High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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