I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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