Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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