evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
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In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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