She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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