She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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