I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We're too hungover to prance.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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