So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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