He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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