Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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