And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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