you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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