so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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