careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize