Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize