Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize