He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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