we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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