Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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