We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize