Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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