I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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