For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think people are normalizing furries
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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