Don't you send me to vm
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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