just tell him i said nine months
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize