And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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