It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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