Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize