did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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