Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.

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  (585): He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings. http://tfl.nu/entr
  Replies (15) Good night (768) Bad night (2819) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta

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  (310): Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta http://tfl.nu/zeqg
  Replies (86) Good night (2965) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it

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  (619): The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it http://tfl.nu/ndqf
  Replies (66) Good night (790) Bad night (4105) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.

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  (858): dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread. http://tfl.nu/pzp6
  Replies (22) Good night (5800) Bad night (811) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel

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  (484): Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel http://tfl.nu/fa0o
  Replies (6) Good night (3690) Bad night (546) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf

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  (412): I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf http://tfl.nu/qrcf
  Replies (28) Good night (4129) Bad night (1468) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.

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  (714): She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep. http://tfl.nu/k8wl
  Replies (17) Good night (6572) Bad night (2007) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?

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  (704): Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls? http://tfl.nu/h3go
  Replies (11) Good night (4025) Bad night (992) Order T-Shirt
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.

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  (972): I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper. http://tfl.nu/qsqq
  Replies (7) Good night (2043) Bad night (641) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.

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  (701): Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck. http://tfl.nu/exx8
  Replies (11) Good night (2898) Bad night (658)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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  (503): I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested. http://tfl.nu/ut9v
  Replies (1) Good night (1549) Bad night (920) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.

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  (517): all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings. http://tfl.nu/fkoc
  Replies (5) Good night (2215) Bad night (488)
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  (626): View more from California

  I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.

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  (626): I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing. http://tfl.nu/hf05
  Replies (2) Good night (994) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.

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  (254): He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy. http://tfl.nu/6702
  Replies (12) Good night (562) Bad night (1987) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time

  (917): View more from New York City

  An adult?

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  (516): Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time (917): An adult? http://tfl.nu/ka62
  Replies (3) Good night (1173) Bad night (195)

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