I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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