drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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