3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
they're like a gay fantastic four
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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