I accidentally had phone sex last night
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize