She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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