also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize