My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize