Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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