Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize