just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
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Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
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Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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