Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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