omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize